What Can You Do When Your Co-Parent Isn't Following the Custody Order?

A custody order is intended to provide structure for both parents and children. But what happens when one parent repeatedly ignores the schedule, refuses exchanges, or otherwise fails to follow the agreement?

Start With What the Order Actually Says

Before assuming that your co-parent has violated the order, review its specific language. Parenting plans can address timesharing schedules, holidays, exchanges, transportation, communication, decision-making, and other responsibilities. What feels unfair or inconvenient is not necessarily a violation if the order does not actually require something different.

Document What Is Happening

Keep records of potential violations, including dates, times, missed exchanges, denied parenting time, and relevant communications.

Your records should focus on facts rather than emotional commentary. For example, documenting that an exchange was scheduled for 6:00 p.m. and the other parent did not arrive is more useful than simply writing that the other parent is “always irresponsible.”

Communicate Carefully

When appropriate, address the issue directly and in writing. Keep communication focused on the parenting plan and the specific problem that needs to be resolved.

Avoid threats, insults, or lengthy emotional exchanges. If the issue eventually requires court intervention, your communications may become relevant.

Don't Create a Second Violation

It can be tempting to respond to one violation with another. For example, a parent may decide to withhold future parenting time because the other parent previously failed to comply with the order.

Before taking matters into your own hands, seek legal advice. One parent's conduct does not automatically eliminate the other parent's obligations under an existing order.

Know When to Seek Legal Help

An isolated misunderstanding may be resolved between the parents. A repeated pattern of denied parenting time or other violations may require legal intervention.

A family law attorney can review the order, evaluate what has been happening, and help you understand what enforcement options may be available.