How to Handle Custody Conflicts During the Holidays

LaTerria Sherer
3 days ago
2 min read

Even with a parenting plan in place, holiday conflict can arise. Late exchanges, disagreements about travel, frustrations over schedule changes—these issues are common, and they tend to escalate quickly when emotions are high.

Here’s how to approach holiday custody conflicts in a calm, legally-sound way.

1. Follow the Parenting Plan First

Your parenting plan controls:

The official holiday schedule
Exchange times
Transportation
Holiday rotations (odd/even years)

Even if you and the other parent are flexible, the plan is the default. If a dispute arises, courts will look to what the plan states.

2. Try to De-Escalate Before It Becomes a Crisis

Holiday tension can lead to impulsive decisions. Before reacting:

Pause before responding to texts
Ask for clarification instead of assuming
Keep child-centered language
Offer reasonable alternatives

Courts look favorably on parents who handle disagreements calmly.

3. Put Agreements in Writing

If you agree to swap holiday time or adjust travel plans, put it in writing. Clear documentation prevents confusion later and protects both parents.

Written agreements can be as simple as:“Confirmed: exchanging at 3:00 p.m. on December 24 at the usual location.”

4. When to Consider Mediation

If the same conflicts repeat every year, mediation may help.A neutral mediator can guide you toward a workable holiday schedule or help restructure your parenting plan.

Mediation is often faster and less expensive than litigation.