Co-Parenting During the Holidays: Putting the Kids First

The holiday season is meant to be a time of joy, reflection, and family connection—but for parents who share custody, it can also be one of the most challenging times of the year. Between school breaks, travel plans, and extended family traditions, it’s easy for tensions to rise. The good news? With preparation, open communication, and a focus on what matters most, you can give your children a holiday they’ll remember for all the right reasons.

1. Prioritize Communication Early

Start holiday discussions as soon as possible—ideally well before Thanksgiving. Talk openly about travel plans, gift expectations, and family gatherings. If your parenting plan already includes holiday provisions, review them together to confirm logistics.If plans have changed since the agreement was written (for example, a parent moved or family traditions shifted), communicate those updates clearly. Putting everything in writing—by email or text—helps avoid confusion later.

2. Be Flexible When You Can

The best-laid plans sometimes change. Flights get delayed, relatives visit unexpectedly, or a child gets sick. Flexibility goes a long way toward reducing conflict and showing your child that cooperation is possible.If one parent has a special family event this year, consider swapping time or adjusting the schedule so your child can attend. Next year, the other parent may appreciate the same courtesy.

3. Create Shared Traditions

Holidays don’t have to be identical in both households, but consistency helps children feel secure. Try to coordinate a few shared traditions—like reading a favorite book, watching a holiday movie, or baking cookies—so your child feels a sense of connection no matter where they are.You can also alternate traditions year to year, or create new ones unique to your post-divorce family dynamic.

4. Keep the Focus on the Children

When disagreements arise, pause and ask: “Is this about what I want, or what’s best for my child?” Children thrive when they see their parents cooperate and treat one another respectfully. Avoid using the holidays to compete through gifts or outshine the other parent.The best gift you can give your child is peace of mind—knowing both parents love them and can work together to make the season special.

5. Have a Backup Plan

Even with careful planning, unexpected issues can arise. Discuss ahead of time how you’ll handle emergencies or last-minute changes. Consider agreeing that both parents will notify each other immediately if something disrupts the plan.Having a “Plan B” helps you stay calm and model healthy problem-solving for your children.

6. Remember Self-Care

Co-parenting during the holidays can be emotionally taxing. Make time for yourself—whether that means attending a holiday event with friends, spending time with extended family, or simply relaxing at home. When you’re centered, you’re better able to show up as the parent your child needs.

Final Thoughts

The holidays can highlight what’s changed in your family—but they can also remind you of what remains constant: your love for your children. By prioritizing communication, flexibility, and empathy, you can make this season peaceful and memorable for everyone involved.

If you need help updating your parenting plan or resolving a custody dispute before the holidays, the team at The Sherer Law Firm is here to help.  Schedule a consultation.